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MAKING THE SKILLS LISTS
New members are invited to an evening to create their "Skill
List". There are never more than 8 women each
time. The women are asked to think about their work or professional
skills that are incomeproducing. In addition they are asked
to remember all those things they do for family, friends and
neighbors as well as for their own pleasure. These we call
Life Skills. Life skills are often such a
part of what we do every day that we take them for granted.
They are not usually counted, credited or recorded. The "Wish
List" is just as important. They are the services
the women would like to have.
In order to encourage full exploration we work in twos, each
partner interviews the other and writes down her list for
her. Having this encouragement allows each person to discover
how many skills she really has and to value them. These lists
are copied and sent to all Womanshare
members to introduce the new women. The outcome of these lists
is a yellow page directory organized so that members can quickly
access whatever skill or instruction she may need at the time.
In the early days we found that what came out of the sessions,
and what was truly exciting, was that by far the longer lists
were the ''life skills'' (often as many as 20). They ranged
from the common: cooking, driving, sewing, to the
esoteric; astrology, 19th century opera studies,
the quirky; handicapping, divining, the supportive
and nurturing; companion for a doctor's visit, elder care.
Later as the credit reporting cards came in and the credits
tallied it became more apparent that the life skills had become
the most traded skills, the most valued, needed and appreciated.
And why not! Who wouldn't want the stacks of papers on their
desk finally organized. Who wouldn't want a compassionate
companion to be a second listener to her Dr.'s diagnosis.
Who wouldn't want a friend to help make a gourmet dinner party
for a special event. How unexpected to learn how to handicap
the Kentucky Derby. Who wouldn't want to be read to while
recovering from a detached retina. Who wouldn't want someone
to call to find out what drill bit to use to hang a shelf
on a sheet rock wall?
Doing the Trades
It is important that each woman's time is taken seriously.
Self esteem and respect is developed and realized when trading
is conducted in a businesslike way.
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"From the start we set up one
basic rule insisting that all members always respect
the work. What that means is that if someone is having
a massage, then that massage should take an hour and
it should take place before coffee, tea or socializing.
We believe that all too often women's work has been
treated with contempt or undervalued and we didn't want
to fall into that trap", says Ms. McCourt. But
after work, there has been plenty of time for the kind
of friendship and community building that Womanshare's
founders had in mind in the first place.
Trading Therapy for Art to
Forge a Community , from the New York Times'
column 'About New York' by Michael T. Kaufman
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The act of doing for another can help you to take care of
yourself.
Marion, a professional librarian, helped
Jane organize her files in a way that gave her full access
to them. Marion said that the energy in the exchange broke
through the inertia to go home and do the same for herself.
Exchanging services in Womanshare
takes on other dimensions. It is the practice of community.
It is the openness to each other, the valuing of each other
and the exchange of warmth and affection.
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A Sampling
of What Members Are Doing For Members
- Elaine gave brain gym exercises
to Ann, Nina, and Ida.
- Sheila and Susan have helped Marci
with space planning. At the February potluck, ten
women jumped up to move Marci's piano at Susan's direction.
- Meg did bodywork for Joan and Karen.
- Joan used her computer-design skills
to design a brochure for Jane and Thayer's new business.
She also led a workshop on making greeting cards,
at Jessica's house.
- Kathy shared her wealth of 6-foot
canvases with Jessica.
- Natanya was thrilled when Carola
lent a special gown as a wedding dress for Natanya's
friend.
- Barbara took on the multiple role
of hospital escort, cat feeder, and message taker
for Nina when Nina was hospitalized for an operation.
- Joan baked a fabulous chocolate
cake for Judy to take to a dinner party.
- Diana and Susan installed a sheetrock
wall for Kathy.
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My
most frequent complain as a working wife, mother, daughter of
aging parents and parent-in-law, not to mention friend to a beloved
circle of close buddies, is about the lack of time… But I have
found a solution: I now have 80 women of all ages with a splendid
panoply of skills to call upon at any time to help with tasks
ranging from repotting my plants to cooking my meals and ferrying
my elderly relatives to their medical appointments…. My secret
is an organization called Womanshare.
A
Busy Woman's Wish Come True from the column Feelings
by Myrna Lewis, New Choices, November, 1993
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Although disputes occasionally have occurred,
they have been settled easily…The system has worked well, based
on trust and good will. But even conflicts provide a learning
experience. "In dollar transaction, when you pay, it is over,"
says Wilson. "But in this situation, if you don't like what
(a member) made you or did for you, you can't dismiss them. You
have to work out problems and misunderstandings." To get
what they want from the group women have to be clear and assertive,
not indirect. "You have to ask for what you want. And this
is another form of exchange - building skills that build self-confidence,"
Wilson says.
Skill bank builds a community of sharing,
friendship, by Linda Lehrer, Chicago Tribune, August
22, 1993
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SKILL LISTS
